29 November 2007

MEMO|RANDOM|: Religion

My brain is extremely fertile ground, but I have planted tobacco on it.

Almost every day, usually while walking my dog, I come up with at least 10-15 stupid little thoughts or rhetorical questions that I want to share with others. Two days ago, I began recording these ideas so as not to forget them. I have decided that I am going to start relaying them thematically (motivation permitting). I am calling these installments MEMORANDOM, because I like assigning titles to things (my runners-up were "Fear-reviewed Journal" and "Eat the Press").

My theme for today is religion. I apologize if some of these are stupid. Sometimes, I can't tell. In the interests of full disclosure, I am an atheist.

  • I think we should make an effort to learn more about middle-eastern humor by learning all their good "Imama jokes."
  • Are there any creationist monkeys?
  • If Jesus was resurrected, I don't understand how he died for our sins.
  • In Russia, when Bush looked into Vladimir Putin's eyes and "saw his soul," was Putin's soul wearing one of those fur hats?
  • If you're "born again," doesn't this imply that your previous life was aborted?
  • I think I want to start a prayer rhombus.
  • I hear a lot of talk about "god's will." Are Mary and Joseph written into it?
  • The 11th Commandment is: "Certain restrictions apply."
  • How did the "intelligent designer" design a brain without using one?
  • When a Sunni Muslim hates you, it means you're on his "Shi-ite list."
  • Christians should start a new campaign to appeal to teenagers. The slogan should be: "You know how Jesus do!"
  • Is there a sin tax in Vatican City?
  • In French, the word for Zion is "Jew d'etat."
  • Does the Dalai Lama listen to Nirvana?