As a I sit here wondering how I can use my life to reverse this conservative trend in US politics before I die, I keep imagining all the newspaper headlines I’d like to see. Here are a few:
- “Cheney’s daughter reported to be dating Ted Kennedy’s daughter”
- "Karl Rove locked in limosuine and eats himself to death"
- “Bush mauled by polar bear while surveying Alaska Wildlife Preserve”
- "New study reveals that Attorney General Ashcroft is a virgin"
- “God accuses Bush Administration of partisan politics”
- “Army applies for Pell Grants to supply Iraq War front”
- “Bush birth records reveal shocker: W. actually stands for ‘Womanizer’”
- “Ashcroft announces subpoena of Allah; cites national security reasons” \
- “Bush administration proposes privatization of federal government”
- “Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge caught snorting Anthrax”
- "Fetuses speak out against Bush administration"
- “New tape: bin Laden refers to Laura Bush as ‘hot lips'”
- “Evidence suggests that Karl Rove ate democratic voters in Florida; recount eminent”
- “Defense Secretary Rumsfeld caught masturbating in Pentagon situation room”
