Over the past week, Alberto Gonzales resigned, Larry Craig went manhunting in a public men's room, and Karl Rove has officially stepped down under a cloud of suspicion that could cover a hundred people (so long as one of them isn't him). I am almost frightened of what might come next.
Here are some possible scandals that I foresee arising prior to the 2008 general election:
- New tape shows Giuliani on 9/11 “screaming like a bitch”
- Cheney caught masturbating in WH hallway in front of Reagan portrait
- Staffer says Karl Rove ate his e-mail files instead of surrendering them
- Medical evidence indicates that John McCain has been dead for over a year
- In interview, Bush refers to Barack Obama as “Macaca Osama”
- Bill Clinton donates his penis to the Bush Presidential Library
- Probe reveals that four GOP senators hired Cub Scouts as staff
- Romney’s wife addresses polygamy issue: “this good thing's plenty”
- Rupert Murdoch acquires Al Jazeera – says “nothing will change”
- Ex-Attorney General Alberto Gonzales deported
- Internal Defense Memo: “surge plan” based on G.I. Joe episode
- Leaked first draft of Petraeus Report written in crayon
- Fred Thompson calls Hillary and Democratic candiates "a steer and nine queers"
