Saddam Hussein was executed at 6:10am this morning (Iraqi time), only five days after losing his appeal. I think this execution (by hanging, no less) is appalling, unnecessary, and dangerous. But as usual, things are so bad in Iraq that the only way I can channel my outrage and sadness is with humor. So here are a few unrecorded things that I heard Saddam muttered before his death sentence was carried out:
- “And to think that my high school guidance counselor said I’d never amount to anything.”
- “Tell Bush that I’ve always loved him.”
- “It was my last dinner on Earth, and I can’t even get the kosher meal.”
- “Does this striped prison outfit make me look fat?”
- “If you commute my death sentence, I’ll tell you where I hid the WMD’s.”
- “After three years in prison, those 72 virgins had better be ready. How’s my hair?”
- “Don’t I get a phone call or something? How about a text message?”
- “If you guys kill me, you’re likely to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.”
- “Wait! I was just bullshitting!”
- “You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
- “Tell Dick Cheney that he owes me 50 bucks, and that I'll see him in hell.”
- “My life just flashed before my eyes, and it was all to the music from 'Dark Side of the Moon.'”
- “Sic Semper Tyrannus! No, wait...fuck that.”
- “Is Christiane Amanapour here? I've got a thing for her.”
- “Oh, come on! They can't sell popcorn in here!”
- “By the way, I'm gay.”
