17 May 2007

xoxoxo, Karl


Today, the Judiciary Committee once again demanded Karl Rove's e-mail records regarding his role in the Justice Department U.S. Attorneys firings scandal. I was able to get my chubby little fingers on a few snippets from Rove's e-mail file, and here they are:

  • “DAMN! I wish these chat room hoes would back up off me!”
  • “Attached please find my soul – in MS Access format.”
  • “The IT guys finally installed the ‘Perjury Check’ feature on my e-mail client.”
  • “I think somebody recognized me in my J-Date profile. Please advise.”
  • “The election is tomorrow, and I just can’t seem to stop playing Minesweeper.”
  • “OMG! I am SO bored today!!!!!”
  • “All this NSA wiretap data is really stressing my hard drive space.”
  • “Ever see that YouTube video of the fat girl falling off the motorcycle? LOL!”
  • “Are these e-mail offers for Viagra legitimate? Are orders secure?”
  • “Gotta go – Mitt Romney promised to help find me a wife, and we’re going out.”
  • “I fought the Iraq War in an online gaming community, and I think we can win!”
  • “I accidentally ate my mouse yesterday, and frankly – it wasn’t bad.”
  • “I could stare forever at that screensaver where you move through outer space.”
  • “We’re working on a new program with ‘one-click’ firing of U.S. attorneys.”