To President Bush

Take your time.
Pack your shit.

Election: First Impressions

• We have confirmed that a black person can be elected U.S. president, as can a Muslim, socialist, and most surprisingly, a smoker.
• Alumni of the Electoral College might note that, if current numbers hold with 97% reporting, Obama won the electoral vote by 35%, while winning the popular vote by 6%.
• Somewhat incredibly, for the second consecutive presidential election, Oklahoma was the only state in the nation in which the Democratic candidate did not carry a single county. The closest county was Cherokee, which broke 56-44 for McCain. In addition, by an almost 4-to-1 margin, Oklahomans passed a ballot initiative that declares all people have the right to hunt and trap wildlife.
• Alaskans have re-elected a convicted felon to the Senate. Small town values, etc., etc. If Ted Stevens ends up resigning, that would of course require Sarah Palin to appoint his replacement, and there has been some talk that she should choose herself for the Senate. If she does, I have a strange feeling that self-appointment would throw her intellect into an existential downward spiral from which she would never recover.
• According to McCainsian economics, market forces have determined that the price of winning the war in Iraq is roughly equivalent to the price of winning the presidency.
• I adore Michelle Obama, but I was a little freaked out by that E.T. dress last night.
• This was an historic Democratic victory, based on ideals of liberalism, tolerance, and breaking down barriers. Gay people can't get married.
• Despite approval ratings barely above 20 percent, two endless wars, an economic crisis, and two consecutive national elections that can technically be classified as “thumpins,” George W. Bush still thinks he has been a good president.