I’ve been watching a lot of the Fox News Channel throughout this campaign. If you can somehow remove your mind from the implications of what the people are actually saying, it is really some of the funniest material available on television. It is the kind of humor that doesn’t really make you laugh per se, but provides you with a constant and unending supply of snickers. I've decided that I want to be a Fox News editor, and I've been coming up with some possible headlines. Here are a few:
- “New poll reveals that most Americans think Bush has bigger penis than Kerry”
- “Bush campaign charges Kerry with ‘riling up good negroes in Florida’”
- “Expert panel: stockpile of lost weapons in Iraq deemed small relative to all weapons on Earth”
- “God campaigning for GOP in key senate races”
- “Bush on cocaine use: ‘It gave me tax cut idea.’”
- “GOP investigation links John Edwards to Al-Quaeda via online dating service”
- “Computer model predicts that Kerry victory will cause catastrophic herpes outbreak”
- “Photos reveals that Saddam Hussein wears pink jumpsuit underneath uniform”
- “Republicans accuse Democrats of partisanship”
- “Amid flu vaccine shortage, Bush urges Americans to ‘grab their balls’”
- “New bin Laden tape: Osama calls Kerry ‘deliciously deceptive’”
- “Study finds that Bush’s sperm count highest among 20th century presidents”
- “Osama bin Laden and Tipper Gore – the secret love letters”
