To President Bush

Take your time.
Pack your shit.

Election: First Impressions

• We have confirmed that a black person can be elected U.S. president, as can a Muslim, socialist, and most surprisingly, a smoker.
• Alumni of the Electoral College might note that, if current numbers hold with 97% reporting, Obama won the electoral vote by 35%, while winning the popular vote by 6%.
• Somewhat incredibly, for the second consecutive presidential election, Oklahoma was the only state in the nation in which the Democratic candidate did not carry a single county. The closest county was Cherokee, which broke 56-44 for McCain. In addition, by an almost 4-to-1 margin, Oklahomans passed a ballot initiative that declares all people have the right to hunt and trap wildlife.
• Alaskans have re-elected a convicted felon to the Senate. Small town values, etc., etc. If Ted Stevens ends up resigning, that would of course require Sarah Palin to appoint his replacement, and there has been some talk that she should choose herself for the Senate. If she does, I have a strange feeling that self-appointment would throw her intellect into an existential downward spiral from which she would never recover.
• According to McCainsian economics, market forces have determined that the price of winning the war in Iraq is roughly equivalent to the price of winning the presidency.
• I adore Michelle Obama, but I was a little freaked out by that E.T. dress last night.
• This was an historic Democratic victory, based on ideals of liberalism, tolerance, and breaking down barriers. Gay people can't get married.
• Despite approval ratings barely above 20 percent, two endless wars, an economic crisis, and two consecutive national elections that can technically be classified as “thumpins,” George W. Bush still thinks he has been a good president.

It's the black, stupid

From my personal experience, I would say that most white people, even those who support Obama, refuse to acknowledge that racism is the defining underlying strategy of the McCain campaign. However, the racial basis of virtually every anti-Obama message coming from McCain’s campaign (which is pretty much every single message) is absolutely transparent. Perhaps most obvious are the long-promulgated notions that Obama is “not one of us,” that he a secret Muslim, or that he is some kind of neo-Black Panther because his pastor condemned U.S. foreign policy. I should hope that the racial potency of these messages would be obvious, but I fear that they are not.

However, a very recent poll by AP/Yahoo (N=2,227, 8/27-9/5, margin of error +/- 2.1 percent) is a wonderful illustration of what the McCain campaign is all about because it shows exactly what their messages are aiming at. Although the data gathered from this poll are, to be sure, disturbing by themselves, consider the alignment of whites’ stereotypes of black people with the core anti-Obama messages of the McCain campaign.

22 percent of white Americans (all whites, regardless of party) agreed that black people are “boastful”
McCainization: Obama is a celebrity, Obama is elitist, Obama starting running for president as soon as he entered the Senate

11 percent agreed that black people are “irresponsible”
McCainization: Obama is not ready to be president (give Hillary credit for her 3am advertisement during the primaries)

29 percent agreed that black people are “complaining”
McCainization: Obama (and his wife) is unpatriotic, Obama is a negative campaigner, Obama’s work as a community organizer as a laughable endeavor, the general constraint on Obama’s campaign by which he simply cannot even mention race as an issue

20 percent strongly agreed that black Americans are “violent”
McCainization: Obama is a secret Muslim, Obama shares his "extremist" "God damn America" views of the U.S.

13 percent agreed that black people are “lazy”
McCainization: again, Obama is inexperienced and not ready to be president

Most generally, around 40 percent of white Americans hold at least a partly negative view of their black counterparts.
McCainization: the aforementioned messages of Obama is “not one of us,” Obama is not a real American

The analysis of these polling data suggest that these stereotypes will cost Obama around 6 percent of the popular vote.

Virtually every single anti-Obama message that the McCain campaign has used over the past few months fits nicely into a synergistic relationship with one or more of these racial stereotypes. The only exception that I can think of is the age-old "Obama will raise your taxes" message, although I could have forced it into the "irresponsible" and/or "complaining" categories. Among those anti-Obama messages that I did list above, you can give a pass to the inexperience charge, as this is a perfectly valid criticism of any presidential candidate who is a first-term senator.

However, every other anti-Obama message, in my view, clearly draws its resonance directly from racial stereotypes that a disturbing proportion of white Americans hold. McCain’s amalgamated campaign message can be summed up in two words: “He’s black.”

The forced, ice-breaking election post

We will decide this election, and there is nothing we can do about it.

The truth almost seems ashamed of itself.

Do people understand that these moronic messages and lies are specifically designed for distrusting, cynical voters convinced that they are immune from them? When they rebel against the stupidity of our political discourse by tuning out, how many realize that that is the very reaction that is desired of them? Their revolution is submission, and it will be televised.

When they hear or read the messages and lies, after they tell themselves that they are too smart and saavy to believe any of this political nonsense, do they ever realize that the message lingers in their head, struggling desperately to find a suitable place among their premises and preconceptions? (Obama can't be a Muslim, can he? Well, we do know that he isn't very patriotic, so maybe...).

Do people not care about the lies, or are they simply not paying attention? Certainly the latter more than the former (almost 80% of Americans get most of their campaign information from political advertisements). In that case, the game is all about choosing the best lies to put to scary music in a 30-second spot: Obama wants to teach oral sex to kindergarteners, he has an "I Brake for White Women" bumper sticker on his car, and he will take your guns and give them to his pastor.

At what point does a meaningless slogan become fact? When did it become inarguable that the surge worked, that we are fighting al-Quaeda in Iraq, that McCain is a maverick? What if it were possible to calculate an average number of public repetitions required before a majority of people believe something? Would you join me in being afraid what that figure would be?

For all my consumption of political information, for all the countless hours I spend thinking about this stuff, I am essentially as clueless as anyone else. I am helpless. Like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

True, but sad

The theme is "Sad but True in U.S. Politics." Of course, there are too many of these to ponder, but these are the ones I have thought about or come across lately that struck me.

• After George Bush leaves office, he will be paid tens of millions of dollars to give speeches.
• In a September 2006 CBS News/New York Times poll, 31 percent of Americans believed that Saddam Hussein was "personally involved" in the attack of September 11, 2001. 75 percent of Americans believe in angels.
• Vice President Cheney's dog is named Dave, but his Chief of Staff was named Scooter.
• Fox News, under the taglines "Fair and Balanced" and "We Report, You Decide," has hired Karl Rove to provide regular political commentary.
• A substantial group of well-known Republicans are using Barack Obama's middle name as an argument against voting for him.
• A December 2007 Gallup Poll showed that 17 percent of Americans would not vote for a Mormon presidential candidate under any circumstances, but 48 percent would not vote for an Atheist.
• At a debate several months ago, three Republican candidates for President stated that they do not believe in evolution. One of those candidates, Mike Huckabee, has won almost ten primary states, and he is still in the race.
• In a recent California poll, 81 percent of nonvoters agreed that voting is an important way to influence issues and policies that affect them, but about 65 percent said that they don't vote because special interests control elections.
• In order to avoid political embarrassment, Bush has consciously chosen to continue mispronouncing the word "nuclear" as "nucular."
• If George Allen had said "jerk" instead of "macaca," he would likely be the Republican nominee for President.

GOP Talking Points in '08

With the primary season in full swing, one can only imagine what Republicans are planning for the general election campaign. With an unpopular war, a dismal incumbent, and a tanking economy, they have a lot to explain. As an unofficial GOP advisor (working on an unsolicited, pro bono basis), I have thrown together a few Republican talking points and strategies for the upcoming general election campaign. (Sadly enough, it is not impossible that one or more of these recommendations will actually occur.)

• If she is nominated, reiterate that Hillary Clinton is (technically) a woman, and that in the Mideast, women are not respected and are considered weak. Emphasize the role of the penis as a weapon attacking our enemies, and of the balls as intelligence storehouses. Refer to Clinton's supporters as her "knitting club," her campaign press releases as "recipes," and call her advisors her "campaign commi-tittie." Start rumors that Osama bin Laden and his aides dismissively refer to Hillary as the "Whoran" or "She-jad." Covertly hand out tampons at Clinton campaign rallies with the slogan "Change is Good - Hillary in '08" written on the packaging. During speeches on air, plant GOP operatives to chant "Show your tits!" while Hillary is speaking.
• If Barack Obama is nominated, point out that he is a black, drug-dealing, Muslim adolescent. Always say his name in full: "Barack Hussein Obama," eventually shortening it to "BHO," as in: all Obama will do is "B a HO" on the world stage. Start rumors that "Obama" is Arabic for "fuck this place," that his Secret Service guards are actually the Fruit of Islam, and that Obama governs according to the maxim: "What would Allah do?" Stir racial divisions by starting rumors that Obama has a "Thug Life" tattoo across his chest, that he has a "I Brake for White Women" bumper sticker on his limo, and that he will pass a law that makes D.C. stand for "dark chocolate."
• Remind voters that the stock market hates Democrats, and that the economy will tank if a Democrat is elected. Portray the stock market as a Christian white male. Refer to Democrats as "taxidermists." Chalk up the economic boom under Bill Clinton to a "freak financial blow job." Point out that liberals want higher taxes, and if confronted with counter-argument that this isn't true, call your opponent a "twinkle-toed communist." Blame rising gas prices on gay Democrats' consumption of lube.
• Never miss a chance to assert that the Islamo-fascist-jihado-terrorists want a Democrat elected President in 2008 because they're scared of Republicans. Report that radical Muslims have added a sixth daily prayer to ask Allah for a Democratic president. Call Nancy Pelosi the "Speaker of the Mosque" or "Madame Ovary." Retranslate old bin Laden video messages such that he refers to Bush as a "bad motherfucker" who "makes the hair on my back stand up."
• Use the argument that Democrats want to legalize illegal immigration, thereby making it just "immigration." Fabricate film footage of Democratic staffers at the border handing out toothbrushes to crossing Mexicans. Try and reframe the "Remember the Alamo" controversy as a border patrol dispute. Refer to Democratic campaign volunteers as "guest workers." Predict that traffic signs will soon be in Spanish, which will increase auto accidents and road congestion.
• Energize Evangelicals by predicting that a Democratic president represents a return to godlessness and moral ruin. Start framing liberalism as an "alternative lifestyle." Call the Democrats the "Party of Butt and Fun" and characterize their candidates as "Bi and partisan." Leak Democratic plans to change "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy regarding gays in the military to "Say that Shit, Do that Shit!" Claim that Democrats who say "Amen" after praying are actually saying "Ahhh...men."