I've been absent for a while because, as of two days ago, I'm "Fat with a Ph....D."
Coming off my hiatus, here is a new set of random thoughts, with a holiday theme.
- I'm going to filibuster my New Year's resolution.
- Doesn't Santa annually violate our immigration laws?
- Christmas should buy Hanukah and re-tool it.
- Before I die, Santa's workshop will be based in China.
- If there's really a "War on Christmas," trees will side with our enemy.
- When Santa visits our troops in Iraq, Blackwater is doing the security.
- The song "White Christmas" is racially insensitive.
- Holiday shopping benefits the Christ-Industrial Complex.
- Is there some breed of mistletoe that gets you laid?
- Does Mrs. Claus find the term "ho" offensive?
- I heard the Grinch is now affiliated with al-Quaeda.
- Putting gifts under our trees is a relic of our evolution from small rodents.
